Upright Keywords: Rest, Introspection
Symbolism & Meaning
At first look you would assume that this card is showing an image of death. In fact, the card shows a knight lying on top of a tomb, his hands together in prayer. This card symbolises deep rest. The tomb offers a peaceful environment and much needed time away from the external noises that distract and provoke us. Three of his swords hang on the wall whilst the fourth is by his side, ready to grab should he need to move quickly.
How the Four of Swords is Relevant to Me
I have come late to my daily reading today. I do genuinely feel exhausted following yesterday’s outing. Steve said when he left for work that I need to take it easy today so pulling this card is very appropriate for the energy, or lack of it, I am experiencing. The Four of Swords is the recovery card in the swords suit. It is an invitation to relax, meditate and focus on your spiritual path. It can also be related to a period of recuperation from illness or ongoing medical treatment.
So yesterday was hand therapy. That is draining enough but we are making a point of getting the bus to these sessions. I need to be exposing myself to these situations but I have to admit I am finding it difficult. I don’t know whether it is the medication or my PTSD but I am very hypervigilant when I am around noises and people. Zoe explained to me that this can be very common following a traumatic event but it is still taking me by surprise. Steve and I talked the whole way there which was a welcome distraction. Hand therapy was two 30 minute sessions. The first was with the physio, Jan who is really lovely and supportive. Jan took some measurements of my fingers and they are definitely showing signs of of bending a few more degrees. She then dipped my hand in melted wax and placed it in a plastic bag. Once seated, she used the heat of the wax to manipulate my finger joints and bend them down more towards my palm. This was incredibly painful.
Next was Janice in the workshop. Broomfield hospital has an excellent hand therapy department and lots of rehabilitation equipment on hand, pardon the pun. First we used the putty, a very satisfying substance that I can squeeze using various finger positions to encourage more movement in the joints. We then used various items such as a grip strengthener, dumbbells and something called a power web, a giant frisbee full of holes. All very effective but equally painful.
Then it was the bus home where I really felt like I needed a glass of wine. This is where it all went wrong. I am not supposed to be drinking. I have been told that the occasional glass of wine shouldn’t hurt but that I need to be aware of how it may interact with my medications. I had too much and went to bed feeling not very good at all. This morning, I woke up feeling even worse. Not only do I have a slight hangover but the nerve pain is more severe than normal. I really need to just not drink at all. I went three months without anything and didn’t miss it.
Today I will definitely be listening to the The Four of Swords and rest, watch lots of telly and accept the fact that recovery certainly isn’t linear. I am experiencing a down today but as long as I listen to my body, tomorrow may be an up!